You have learned every trick in the book to be likable when you first meet someone.
Shake their hand.
Make eye contact.
You know the drill, but what if there was something else out there that instantly made you more likable. Science explains the self-fulfilling prophecy of projection—you are what you project, therefore meaning, you are what you believe you are. Project negative energy and you will receive negative energy as well as influence those around you negatively.
Now think about this self-fulfilling prophecy in a light of when you meet someone for the first time, let’s say, in an interview. If you go into the interview believing and thinking that the other people are going to like you, that gives off a positive energy. Science then comes into play and says that if you think they will like you, they usually will.
While you can follow basic and obvious steps such as making eye contact and smiling, try making these age-old tactics fulfilling by bolstering them with some positive energy behind them:
Compliment the other person.
This has to be genuine and you have to feel the positive energy they would be feeling when you say it. Do a bit of research about the person or ask a few small questions to learn quickly and find a way to genuinely compliment them in conversation.
Ask meaningful questions.
Getting the other person to talk about themselves is important and allows them to open up about themselves to create a connection with you. Since 40% of speech every day is spent on talking about subjective feelings or emotions (yes, gentlemen, even you), people will easily move into a conversation about themselves.
Stop using “have.”
When someone HAS to do something, they make it sound like a chore and the connotation becomes extremely negative. Imagine changing “have” to something more positive like “want” or “got.” It will help change your energy and perspective around the task or chore to possibly even enjoy it some!
It doesn’t hurt to share something about yourself that shows you’re a feeling human-being. A person is more likely to open up about themselves when you wanted to share first. Remember that the most successful teams were lead by people willing to share their weaknesses and failings.
If you can work on these areas, not only will you become more likable, but people will also enjoy being around you more.
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